Dear blogging friends

Dear people,

I felt I wanted to tell you all something. Since I have been fortunate enough of late to be experiencing times of better health. What I mean is: I’m still having bad times, but my better times are better than they used to be. During these times of lightness I am seeing more clearly through the clouds. Those awful clouds of sickness that only a chronically sick person can know.

Before, when I was waking up feeling awful all day every day I used to just survive through the day. Living this awful existence for so long ones ‘more normal’ or ‘better’ days are cherished. When the body is very ill and one is in survival mode, it really leaves little energy for the brain function.

I was out on a walk today––this following a very good week––and I have to say apart from painful joints I felt normal… I had this kind of ‘wow’ feeling, and it dawned on me that this kind of normal was something I hadn’t felt for a long time. What I’m getting at here is that I am so used to feeling awful, that even what I thought I remembered and thought was ‘normal’, actually wasn’t. What I felt today was more near the normal that I used to feel like.

I then began to reflect on how hard I have been on myself at times, thinking and questioning my illness. All of this relates back to the stigmas attached to these illnesses. As I was walking I thought this is how it must feel for healthy people: doing an activity with such ease, and lightness. I then had such an urge to share this with my blogging friends.

Basically, I write this now to all of you, who still only have their heads just above water, to let you know that you ARE doing your best right now. You have a disease that is dragging you down. Believe this 100%. Its only now that I’ve had a little glimmer of the ‘real normal’ that I really realize that my body has been very sick. It’s only when you get a glimpse like this that you wonder how you have been surviving at such a low level for so long.

I write this as I know I have been lucky enough to find some answers and get some treatment, but I know there are so many of you that still await help and answers. I just wanted to tell you all to go easy on yourselves. Your body is very ill. Your body is running at a level a million miles from normal…

I write this for those of you who are so ill, you’re putting all your energy into surviving through the day, leaving no energy for the luxury of thought I was given today.

That’s all for now.

I hope you’re all doing ok…

Treya : )

P.S I’m still being cautiously optimistic : ) not foolishly optimistic…